I am a therapist with ADHD who specializes in treating others with it. I completely agree with what you've said here. I explain this to others, and they often get angry. They need to identify as ADHD to explain themselves. I think understanding this concept is the gate to a pathway of change and growth. I attempt to help others open the gate and walk this new path. When they do so, they find freedom. Not that they no longer have ADHD, but they no longer ARE ADHD.
Love this. I really resent the idea that an ADHD identity is in some way 'cool'. I really can't accept that people who really have ADHD would consider it cool. It can be debilitating, and must be managed. But in no way do I want to BECOME the difficulties that I face!
Thank you for this post, I love that book and it did help me to connect with the essence of me before my ADHD journey started and this post is a great reminder and a nudge to help me to be healthier and happier with my whole self.
Hey Joseph, I heard you speak at Climb23. This is my first article of yours I have read.
I agree 100%! I found out I had 2 years ago and didn’t want to take medication. I now teach mindfulness and relaxation skills. Myself being my number one customer! Always stepping back from thoughts and finding myself below.
I read your article with interest and believe you are spot on but how can I convince my 20 year old daughter did you see the panorama documentary about private adhd clinics
I used to enjoy your articles being a newly diagnosed at 50 and having endured a tough childhood and adulthood. Now it’s time to move our separate ways and I’ll unsubscribe thank you. Moreover I am concerned that you were a con all along, negating the real hardships bit by bit through some heroism of post adhd. Neurodivergence is neurodivergence and you are doing it a disservice now not supporting people who struggle and are learning to live with it in a neurotypical environment.
I think I can see both sides to the argument. There's those who want to recognise that part of them that struggles and it's hard not to accidentally dismiss this even if it's not meant as dismissive. Often we struggle and then can feel more pain when it is perceived as dismissed, especially as we've usually had our struggles dismissed in the past. That being said, I agree that we can over identify with our struggles, especially with the recent fashion to claim with pride our neurodiverse nature (a fashion that is usually lacking in supportive suggestions about how to cope, like claiming it makes all our struggles disappear because we've accepted who we are). The reason why I'm following this website is in the hope of gaining ideas to patch up the gap between how my brain is functioning (or not as the case maybe) and the environment around me. I don't want to just wave a flag saying "this is me" because that helps no-one, I just want the areas I struggle with due to how my brain functions recognised but with support to try and soften this gap
I think I can see both sides to the argument. There's those who want to recognise that part of them that struggles and it's hard not to accidentally dismiss this even if it's not meant as dismissive. Often we struggle and then can feel more pain when it is perceived as dismissed, especially as we've usually had our struggles dismissed in the past. That being said, I agree that we can over identify with our struggles, especially with the recent fashion to claim with pride our neurodiverse nature (a fashion that is usually lacking in supportive suggestions about how to cope, like claiming it makes all our struggles disappear because we've accepted who we are). The reason why I'm following this website is in the hope of gaining ideas to patch up the gap between how my brain is functioning (or not as the case maybe) and the environment around me. I don't want to just wave a flag saying "this is me" because that helps no-one, I just want the areas I struggle with due to how my brain functions recognised but with support to try and soften this gap
I have always questioned who I am, but was never able to obtain a clear answer prior to receiving my diagnosis of combined ADHD. Now I absolutely understand who I am, because I now know which bits of me are under its influence. Unlike you though, I very much accept all that is my ADHD is also me, in the same way that being a type 1 diabetic has affected my decisions & behaviours for 40+ years. I am aware how BOTH conditions have moulded me into the person I am today. It is how you said, “It’s a subtle, yet extremely important, difference.”
As you rightly put, everyone is entitled to their differing opinions (I know I can be very opinionated too) & I agree that there are many who attempt to sway ones opinions with their marketing in order to sell you their products. You even wrote - ““Advertisers know this, so prey on our base desires.”
Whilst I can understand other’s differences in opinion, I couldn’t/wouldn’t write what you just have & expect anyone to then buy a ticket to your show to be further told how ‘wrong’ they are & how ‘right’ you are… Vive la différence!
“But I had to write it. Firstly, because it’s true.” … to YOU! Your reality & ADHD severity will be very different to another’s.
To quote Dr J. Russell Ramsay “If you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD… You definitely have not met them all.”
I am a therapist with ADHD who specializes in treating others with it. I completely agree with what you've said here. I explain this to others, and they often get angry. They need to identify as ADHD to explain themselves. I think understanding this concept is the gate to a pathway of change and growth. I attempt to help others open the gate and walk this new path. When they do so, they find freedom. Not that they no longer have ADHD, but they no longer ARE ADHD.
Love this. I really resent the idea that an ADHD identity is in some way 'cool'. I really can't accept that people who really have ADHD would consider it cool. It can be debilitating, and must be managed. But in no way do I want to BECOME the difficulties that I face!
Thank you for this post, I love that book and it did help me to connect with the essence of me before my ADHD journey started and this post is a great reminder and a nudge to help me to be healthier and happier with my whole self.
Hey Joseph, I heard you speak at Climb23. This is my first article of yours I have read.
I agree 100%! I found out I had 2 years ago and didn’t want to take medication. I now teach mindfulness and relaxation skills. Myself being my number one customer! Always stepping back from thoughts and finding myself below.
Good morning Jack
I read your article with interest and believe you are spot on but how can I convince my 20 year old daughter did you see the panorama documentary about private adhd clinics
Have you listened to Gabor Matte
I used to enjoy your articles being a newly diagnosed at 50 and having endured a tough childhood and adulthood. Now it’s time to move our separate ways and I’ll unsubscribe thank you. Moreover I am concerned that you were a con all along, negating the real hardships bit by bit through some heroism of post adhd. Neurodivergence is neurodivergence and you are doing it a disservice now not supporting people who struggle and are learning to live with it in a neurotypical environment.
I think I can see both sides to the argument. There's those who want to recognise that part of them that struggles and it's hard not to accidentally dismiss this even if it's not meant as dismissive. Often we struggle and then can feel more pain when it is perceived as dismissed, especially as we've usually had our struggles dismissed in the past. That being said, I agree that we can over identify with our struggles, especially with the recent fashion to claim with pride our neurodiverse nature (a fashion that is usually lacking in supportive suggestions about how to cope, like claiming it makes all our struggles disappear because we've accepted who we are). The reason why I'm following this website is in the hope of gaining ideas to patch up the gap between how my brain is functioning (or not as the case maybe) and the environment around me. I don't want to just wave a flag saying "this is me" because that helps no-one, I just want the areas I struggle with due to how my brain functions recognised but with support to try and soften this gap
I think I can see both sides to the argument. There's those who want to recognise that part of them that struggles and it's hard not to accidentally dismiss this even if it's not meant as dismissive. Often we struggle and then can feel more pain when it is perceived as dismissed, especially as we've usually had our struggles dismissed in the past. That being said, I agree that we can over identify with our struggles, especially with the recent fashion to claim with pride our neurodiverse nature (a fashion that is usually lacking in supportive suggestions about how to cope, like claiming it makes all our struggles disappear because we've accepted who we are). The reason why I'm following this website is in the hope of gaining ideas to patch up the gap between how my brain is functioning (or not as the case maybe) and the environment around me. I don't want to just wave a flag saying "this is me" because that helps no-one, I just want the areas I struggle with due to how my brain functions recognised but with support to try and soften this gap
I have always questioned who I am, but was never able to obtain a clear answer prior to receiving my diagnosis of combined ADHD. Now I absolutely understand who I am, because I now know which bits of me are under its influence. Unlike you though, I very much accept all that is my ADHD is also me, in the same way that being a type 1 diabetic has affected my decisions & behaviours for 40+ years. I am aware how BOTH conditions have moulded me into the person I am today. It is how you said, “It’s a subtle, yet extremely important, difference.”
As you rightly put, everyone is entitled to their differing opinions (I know I can be very opinionated too) & I agree that there are many who attempt to sway ones opinions with their marketing in order to sell you their products. You even wrote - ““Advertisers know this, so prey on our base desires.”
Whilst I can understand other’s differences in opinion, I couldn’t/wouldn’t write what you just have & expect anyone to then buy a ticket to your show to be further told how ‘wrong’ they are & how ‘right’ you are… Vive la différence!
“But I had to write it. Firstly, because it’s true.” … to YOU! Your reality & ADHD severity will be very different to another’s.
To quote Dr J. Russell Ramsay “If you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD… You definitely have not met them all.”