Master The Art of Habit Stickiness for ADHD: 3 Simple Steps
We're good at starting stuff. We suck at following through. This will help with the latter.
ADHD makes us inconsistent.
We start something. We get bored. We stop.
This vicious cycle is relentless.
We set out, with the best intentions, to form a new habit – writing, for example.
We stick to our daily schedule for a week.
But then we hit an obstruction – something trivial like a bad night’s sleep. And without a full night of sleep we couldn’t possibly continue to write every day.
I’m not judging. I do this, too.
But please accept the reality. We suck at sticking to what we start.
Most habit forming information doesn’t work for ADHD. It’s too structured, too regimented and too analytical.
Yet, forming habits is essential if we want to make progress.
Aside from all my failures, I’ve also managed to:
Build and sell a business
Write a weekly newsletter
Learn to meditate
Hold my breath for 3.5 mins
Take ice baths
All while being hampered by this thing some call a disorder.
After assessing how I’d managed to be occasionally consistent, I realised I’d been, inadvertently, following a 3-step system:
1) Create minuscule habits
2) Do A LOT less
3) Detach from outcomes
The best thing about learning to be consistent is that you only have to make the choice to be consistent once. After that, it’s simply a matter of keeping your promise.
So here’s how you can use my 3-step system to get consistent:
1) Create minuscule habits
10 years ago I first read two books that helped me build better habits.
Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg The Power of Less by Leo Babauta
Tiny Habits is great. And it gives solid advice on how to form basic habits.
But today I’m going to talk about book number two.
The Power of Less was written when the author quit smoking, after struggling for years.
He did it by identifying what is essential and eliminating the rest.
If you want to write everyday, what is essential?
To write.
What is not essential?
Literally everything that isn’t writing – including reading, TV, shopping, eating, exercising, etc.
For 20 minutes each day, do what is essential = write.
Avoid everything else.
This method is meditative because you focus on just one thing.
And it can be applied across your entire life.
When you eat, just eat.
Exercise is meditation.
Daily routines can be meditation.
Many people tell me Atomic Habits by James Clear has improved their life. It’s probably a more palatable read than Tiny Habits, so if Tiny Habits doesn’t catch your attention, opt for that instead.
2) Do less
With ADHD, we want to do everything immediately!
To be consistent, you must resist that impulse.
Instead:
Choose ONE habit to learn.
Make sure it’s measurable.
Do it at the same time every day.
Why the same time every day?
Because that makes it infinitely easier to stick to. Soon, 7:30 to 8:30 will be the time you write. It’ll be your sacred time.
3) Detach from outcomes
Elite performers create emotional detachment.
It’s the only way to thrive in the workplace, on the field and on stage.
Detachment allows us to take feedback constructively. It reminds us, as Seth Godin says, that we are not our work.
Being detached doesn’t mean you don’t care. It simply means you’re focusing on the work and those you serve, not on your own narrative.
Detachment from the outcome is essential if you’re to stick to anything for the long-term.
Once you sense you’re not getting an outcome from your efforts, you find an excuse to quit.
Instead, trust the process.
After the first week of writing on LinkedIn, 500 people read my content.
Just over a year later, 1.5m people have.
If I was attached to the outcome, I’d have quit after week one.
The system above is simpler than it looks.
Give it one month and see how you feel.
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Habits help us improve our lives. But common habit forming advice fails most of us. What have you done to build (and stick to) habits?